


Freak

by deadsamdean



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Self Harm, Suicidal Sam, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-21
Updated: 2015-08-21
Packaged: 2018-04-16 10:50:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4622532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deadsamdean/pseuds/deadsamdean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Idk, i haven't slept since like yesterday</p>
            </blockquote>





	Freak

“Listen to me, you bloodsucking freak. Dad always said I'd either have to save you or kill you. Well, I'm giving you fair warning. I'm done trying to save you. You're a monster, Sam - a vampire. You're not you anymore. And there's no going back.”   
Sam listened to the voicemail for the fifth time since Dean left to go to a bar. He started the apocalypse and was feeling guilty as shit but he just can’t understand why Dean wasn’t mad at him. He left him that message and is now treating him like everything was fine. 

Sam went to press the play button again, to hear Dean telling him all the ways he failed him, but he decided against it and threw the phone across the room, shattering it against the wall. He knew he was crying but he didn’t make any attempt to stop, no one cared anyway. 

He stood up and rummaged through one of his bags, pulling out a bottle of whisky. He pulled out a glass and sat back down at the motel room table. He wasn’t one for drinking away his pain, which was more Dean’s type thing, but tonight was different. Sam was alone, Dean hated him, and the end of the world is near. What’s the point of fighting if you’re fighting alone?

He poured himself a generous amount of whisky and downed it quickly, enjoying the burning sensation in his throat. Pouring himself another drink, he replayed the message in his head.

‘Bloodsucking freak’ Sam takes a shot of whiskey.

‘I’m done trying to save you’ He takes another shot.

‘You’re a monster, Sam’ He pours himself another glass, not caring how much alcohol there was. The effects of the whiskey were hitting him pretty strongly, another side effect of the demon blood. Withdrawals left his body weak as shit and susceptible to anything. 

He stood up again, a little unsteady, and made his way to the bathroom. Sam shut the door behind him and locked it. He set the bottle of whiskey down next to the sink and pulled out a blade from his back pocket. He met his own eyes in the mirror, seeing what Dean sees in him.

Dean wanted him dead, he might as well do it himself to make it easier for him.

Sam brought the blade down to his arm, slicing a cut into it. It wasn’t deep enough and a bit wonky from the alcohol. He moved the blade a bit higher up and slashed down again, this cut more successful. He reached over and took another drink of whisky, letting it slide down his throat before picking up the blade again. 

He didn’t really know what he was thinking when he began to carve the word ‘freak’ into his arm. There was blood everywhere, dripping onto the ground and all over Sam’s fingers. When he finished carving, he dropped the blade and drank some more out of the bottle. He sat down on the ground, the loss of blood taking a toll on his energy.

He picked up the blade once more, pressing it to his wrist. Sam sliced down with a lot of force, the cut spanning from his hand to the crook of his elbow. It underlined the word FREAK and emphasized the point he was trying to make. 

The last coherent thought he had before passing out was that the blood was gonna be a bitch to clean up.


End file.
